The sedoka

 

mountain, snow

“Escape”

When you return, love.
I will be in the mountains,
kissing the breath of cold sky.

It’s warmer here, love,
than the chaise beside the hearth
where you burrow with the cat.

***

For the full story about sedoka, visit the dVerse website.

Meanwhile, here is a summary:

“The sedoka is an unrhymed poem consisting of two tercets with a scheme of 5-7-7 and 5-7-7 syllables, a total of 38 syllables containing idea more subtly complex than a tanka but much less complex than a choka.

Each verse presents an independent thought, and is called a katauta, literally a half-song. This suggests that the sedoka’s origins are musical in nature, some sedoka repeat the third and sixth lines, like a refrain, though this isn’t a rule.

The poem’s two verses usually provide two perspectives on the theme, with a sharp division after the third line, and a soft turn after line five, before the conclusion.

Often the first verse will describe a natural image or scene, and the second verse the same scene from a different perspective, or a philosophical or emotional reaction to the first.

Together, the two katautas embody the full theme of the sedoka.”

Sadly, Sedoka has already fallen into disuse, and thus is a dying form.

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31 thoughts on “The sedoka

  1. Had this started ‘Dear John’, it certainly wouldn’t have carried the weight it does now. A powerful, slap-in-the-face piece. And why is she borrowing in that chaise? Great from and writing. -Mike

  2. Now that is one powerful insult! The first line had me thinking “Oh, here’s comes a nice little romantic poem.” Was I ever wrong. You were able to create such a complete image in a short form. Great writing!

  3. Well done. Interesting thing happened – I read this first as an email (from ‘follow’) and it arrived without the photo, so I had no clue about the visual base. I interpreted it quite differently after re-reading it with the piccie. A really good write!

  4. yes, the call of the wild, to sleep in the mountains in a down bag!
    Good use of the form, too, to convey the feelings. reads like a note left on the kitchen table

Speak to me of thoughts unspoken.

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