Poetic Science Experiment

Today’s blood, sweat, and tears are resulted from Naming Constellations Foundry Poem Day.

Think in scientific terms-melting, boiling, gas (ing?.)

Hypothesis:Changing a poem’s state of matter will change the meaning.

Purpose: Melt, boil, ignite pre-written poem. Mold it into a new one.

Materials: One wordy poem

Procedure:

1.  Melt it: The idea of melting is that all of the essential pieces of the poem should be in place, but in a simpler form. Let complex verb tenses collapse; cut out tiny words that were chosen for the sake of meter; liquefy a few commas and periods; maybe drip one line into two.

2. Boil it: Try taking the poem and turning at least one image to allusion, as well as removing at least one descriptor.

3. Ignite it: At this point, break down even the essential grammar and linguistics of the poem;

My Constant:

The Lover Tells of the Rose in His Heart

by William Butler Yeats

All things uncomely and broken, all things worn out and old,
The cry of a child by the roadway, the creak of the a lumbering cart,
The heavy steps of the ploughman, splashing the wintry mould,
Are wronging your image that blossoms a rose in the deeps of my heart.

The wrong of unshapely things is a wrong too great to be told;
I hunger to build them anew and sit on a green knoll apart,
With the earth and the sky and the water, re-made, like a casket of gold
For my dreams of your image that blossoms a rose in the deeps of my heart.

My Data:

1. Melting

All things ugly, broken, worn, old.
a child crying by a road, wagon squealing
The ploughman’s heavy steps, splashing snow drifts,
your image blossom like a rose in my heart.

unshapely things are too greatly wrong to be told;
I hunger to rebuild them upon a green knoll,
the earth, the sky, the water, re-made, like gold
your image blossoms like a rose in my heart.

2. Boiling

All things ugly broken, worn, old
child crying by the road, wagon squealing
The ploughman’s steps across snow drifts
But your image is a blossom in my heart.

unshapely things remain untold
I hunger to rebuild them upon a knoll,
the earth, the sky, the water, re-made, like gold
But, your image is a blossom in my heart.

3. Igniting

“Image of You”

thebrokentheworntheold
the child crying by the road,
a car screeching,
heavy dirty steps in snowdrifts.

You are the rose within my heart.

I long to silence the annoying
images and recreate
  theearththeskythewater,
and meld them like gold.

You are the rose within my heart.

Conclusion: I seem to have a skeleton of the original. My data almost proves my hypothesis. But, it’s inconclusive. Need another variable to throw in there and will reattempt this a few hundred more times because I enjoyed the process.

Advertisements

6 thoughts on “Poetic Science Experiment

  1. It really is good fun to do this exercise, eh? I very much like your final version. I like the way you’ve buckled those few words together also, very clever that.

Speak to me of thoughts unspoken.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s